Sunday, November 30, 2008


Amy Winehouse And Hubby Blake Fielder Civil

Amy Winehouse's hubby Blake Fielder Cicil is vowing to walk away from his troubled marriage, because he blames himself for introducing the Rehab singer to hard drugs. Fielder-Civil was freed from prison in early this month, after serving almost a year behind bars in relation to an attack on a pub landlord in 2006. As part of his early release deal, he checked into a rehabilitation facility in Surrey, south east England, in a bid to kick his drug addiction. But he fears Winehouse’s heavy dependence on drugs will lead her to a very early grave, and it’s all because of him. He tells Britain’s News of the World paper, "I made the biggest mistake of my life by taking heroin in front of her. I introduced her to heroin, crack cocaine and self-harming. I feel more than guilty."I dragged Amy into it and without me there is no doubt that she would never have gone down that road. I ruined something beautiful. Now I have to let her go to save her life. I am not abandoning her. I am doing this out of love." Fielder-Civil claims he only realized the extent of their drug use when Winehouse collapsed following a drinking and drugs binge at their north London home in August 2007, and almost died. He recalls, "I was there when Amy suffered her first seizure. I still break down thinking about it. We had been taking drugs all day long - heroin and crack."We started early and finished late. We didn’t really stop… and while I was getting out of my head, I wasn’t thinking that I was taking somebody with me.Then my wife… just started shaking violently in front of me. I started crying and I lay her down in the recovery position… It was heartbreaking, seeing someone you love more than yourself, someone you would die for… on the floor shaking." The image of Winehouse in such a terrible state will forever haunt Fielder-Civil: "I will go to my grave with that picture of Amy asking me, Who are you? Who are you?’ She didn’t know who I was. I told Amy, ‘I’m your husband.’ "I knew then that I had ruined something beautiful. It was all my fault. It was the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life." And now Fielder-Civil insists he won’t be returning home to his beloved wife when he completes his rehab stint on December 30th, for her own good. He adds, "Now the most dignified thing I can ever do in my life is to release somebody I love from my f**king grasp, from my clutches."When I see pictures of Amy and the state she’s in it tears my heart out. I just want to pick her up and help her. But I can’t - because I’m the man who caused it all. It scares me to death that I can’t fix Amy. But for her recovery I have to leave her alone."I will never stop wanting Amy an loving her and craving her. More than anything I am addicted to Amy. I will do anything for her - and that includes walking away. If something bad happened to Amy now I would kill myself without a question."

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